Stick Around
by Prophe-Cass
Summary: Ladybug would lose her memories once she passed on the Miraculous Box, this Chat Noir and her both knew. But, somehow, Chat Noir can't stop hurting over the fact, painfully aware of where that left him once she did forget everything. Alone.


**After months of radio silence - aside from the two week updates which are actually all prewritten - I have finally began properly writing again. Here's my second one-shot in two days! (AKA Forty-eight hours.)**

**(:)**

**Go listen to _Stick Around_ by Lukas Graham. It matches this so well, and...well, it might be one of my favorite songs. :D**

**(:)**

"So…" Chat Noir started, then paused, mouth opening and closing like a fish. As he tried and failed to speak and translate his thoughts into words.

It was something he struggled with when he was trying to ask a hard question, when he wanted to show his true, sad, lonely colors. Usually buried under a dozen layers of fake smiles and wry jokes.

"Go ahead." Ladybug prompted, drawing a knee to her chest as she rested her cheek against it.

"You're…the Guardian now." He continued, still struggling to convey what he actually meant.

"Ugh." Ladybug sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "Don't remind me." At his startled expression, she hurried to redeem herself. "I-I mean, I'm grateful and all for being trusted to be Guardian, and how much people are depending me…well, it's an honor. To be classified as sacred, it's amazing. But…I'm also not ready to shoulder the responsibility. Yet. It was just a huge shock all at once. I...I image it's how Atlas felt when he first shouldered the sky."

"Atlas didn't have help." Chat Noir easily responded, taking her hands in his own and holding them to his chest as he comfortingly squeezed. "I'll always be here to help you shoulder the burden, no matter what. I really, really care about you, Ladybug."

A month ago, he told her 'I love you' as often as he could. Now, he coated the words with more platonic sentences, all meaning the same thing. For he loved her so much, but couldn't bear the constant ripping of his heart.

"Thank you so much, Chat." Ladybug smiled, squeezing his palms back. "You're the best partner ever."

He grinned, crooked and slightly uncertain, but he nodded with a childish glee.

"Now, what were you saying before I interrupted?" Ladybug asked, pressing onwards as she climbed out of the hole of remorse she had dug.

"Oh, it's not important." Chat Noir absently dismissed, his sad eyes giving him away. Ahh; his first gate of defense was done. The first and last were always the hardest to unlock. "I much rather care about you."

"But, Chat…" Ladybug said, staring up at him pleadingly. "I care about you."

Chat Noir hesitated once more, ears flickering as his false joy crumpled. Another gate down.

"Please, Chat, I wanna hear your thoughts." She begged, and he finally relented, sighing.

"One day, you're going to have to give up the Miracle Box, and your memories." Chat Noir returned her hands to her, no longer imprisoning them in his fingers. "You'll forget about a lot of things. You won't be able to recall all the stress and responsibilities you always have to muster. You won't have to pretend to be strong when you're feeling weak. Imagine; freedom, Ladybug! Absolute freedom! I can't even imagine."

"It'll be pretty great. The new generation can handle it; no more suffering, no more fear, we'll be so happy!"

"You'll."

"Come again?" Ladybug inquired, arching an eyebrow in confusion.

"You'll have no memories of everything." Chat Noir elaborated, poking her on her forehead. "You'll be free. You'll have no more fear, no more suffering."

"Okay; yes, not 'we'. 'I'. What's your point?" Ladybug felt like she was missing something, she had all the pieces out together; but she was missing one. She had opened most of Chat Noir's gates, that stubborn last defense remained shut.

"What about me?" Chat Noir prompted one final time, and Ladybug could just feel his doors closing, could feel him beginning to block everyone out again and plaster a fake smile once again.

In a panic, she responded with "_what_ about you, Chat?" She knew instantly it was the wrong thing to say.

And his eyes flashed once, before returning to being filled with false joy. Fake, all fake.

"Never mind." He hurriedly responded, waving his hand. "It's selfish, anyway."

"No, no, I want to understand!" Ladybug cried, grabbing his hands. "I know that somehow, I'm hurting you. I don't know how, but I need to fix it. You're my best friend, and I want you to talk to me. Please, Chat Noir."

"You won't remember me." He choked at long last, all his gates opening as one. "You won't remember any of our inside jokes, our patrols filled with new, fun games! Our banter as we defeat Akumas, those times when we bandaged one another's wounds… All our battles, the little moments, those late-night talks when we just need a friend, those times I held you when you were upset, when you hugged me even though you didn't know why I was being quiet…we read fanfictions together and pretended to be critics over movies! We have drawing competitions, you taught me to play chess, I taught you sign language, we…we have karaoke night and movie night, we binge shows, have study sessions, we-!" He broke off, covering his ears and forcing himself to stop talking.

Ladybug had long since began crying, begun remembering everything he had listed, every detail, every hug and every tear, every word and every silent night.

It…he…they…

"I'm sorry." Chat Noir whispered, shaking her back to reality. He was sobbing now, kneeling down in front of her, forehead pressed to the ground as he bowed, as tiny as he could make himself. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm _sorry_, I'm _sorry_… I know, it was _selfish_ I know I'm annoying and _it was all better in my mind_ then it actually was I know they are all _too terrible_ to _bother remembering_ and that you're _better off without me_ I'm so sorry it was so _selfish_ but please _don't hate_ me I wouldn't be able to _live_ if you hate me so please. Please forgive me,_ please, please, please_. Forgive me for being _stupid_ and _selfish_ it was _wrong of me_ and you're all that _matters_ and I-"

"Chat!" Ladybug interrupted, tears running steadily down her cheeks at his remorse, his sorrowful regret for just expressing his concerns. He was begging her to spare him mercy, to not hate him, and…is this how he always felt inside? Thinks everything he does is messed up? Believes if he simply thinks about himself for only two seconds he's now hated by those he loves most?

Who made him feel that way? Did Ladybug? She sure hoped she didn't. She never wanted to be the one to cause him so much strife.

He was still rambling, so she drew herself up a little more, and said his name louder. "Chat!"

He froze, ears flattening to his scalp even more, pressed himself closer to the ground. "I'm sorry…" he whined, tears still trailing down his cheek bones.

Ladybug carefully raised his head, fingers cautious not to poke into him as she cradled his cheeks, making him look at her.

"You're right, Chat Noir." She told him gently, wiping her face to clear them of salty tears. She must look terrible.

No matter how bad she was, Chat Noir was even worse. His jade eyes had waned to the point where they held no emotion whatsoever. They didn't sparkle as they usually did but remained hurt. What little she saw of his face was red and splotchy. Tears covered almost every inch of his lower mask, and his lips were dry.

"You're right, I'll forget it all." Ladybug continued, shivering.

His gaze lowered to the ground again.

"I'm sorry." He wheezed out, trembling as he lowered his gaze. "I shouldn't have brought it up..."

"No!" His green eyes flickered back up in surprising as she shouted out the word. "I'm…I'm the one who's sorry, though. I didn't consider you, Chat, and how much it'd hurt you. I didn't even stop to think…you matter, Chat. Never think you don't."

"Is it wrong?" Chat Noir whispered tiredly, his previous begging, his pleading having took everything he had. "To wish I was the one to forget? So I don't have to live with painful memories any more? Or maybe that we'd both forget together? I want the second one so much… then we'd both be free…"

"It's not wrong. We'll figure it out." Ladybug promised, cupping his hand in hers. "I know we will, we'll stick together no matter what. I'll never leave you behind with painful memories. I'll keep you close. I promise that I'll stick around."

_Always._

"Tell me next time, okay? Tell me next time something's bothering you. I care about you too much, and I don't want to forget you, either.

Chat Noir let out a hiccup as his tears subsided, curling up against her. "I'll try, I'll try…" he mumbled: not a promise but a hopeful wish that maybe he could bring himself to do it again.

"I'm going to be here no matter what." Ladybug said, making an oath she would do her best never to forget. "When you help me carry the weight on my shoulders, I'll help carry the weight inside your heart. Don't worry."

_You're my favorite person to hang around with. I promise I'll never leave. Ever. Just…talk to me, please. You're the best person I know, you shouldn't ever be sad…_

_I'll be here, always and forever._


End file.
